Iceberg, dead ahead
Posted Dec 8, 2014 by Jacquie Robison
Lots has been written about how people use Facebook and Twitter to post the version of their life they want people to see — the one that leaves others whistling softly under their breath — sometimes with delight and sometimes with envy — to see their friend living such a charmed life. I think about this as ‘iceberg media’…just seeing the piece of the giant that is above the water.
That said, we made a thoughtful decision not to post pictures of our daughter with her assistive devices on social media. A decision that was full of thought. Of conversation. Of debate.
My feed is still full of pictures of her, but they never included her first steps with a walker, or her subsequent coltish meanderings with quad canes or eventually her single point cane strolling.
Now, she steps independently, although she’s much slower than her friends. We’ve always had tons of adventures with family and friends and we bring her everywhere. But, we were resolute that we didn’t want her defined by her diagnosis. She is not “our daughter with CP”…she is part pirate and part princess. She has a masters in resiliency and a PhD in determination. She loves to sing and takes ballet, stepping with a clunky gait as she twirls around the room. And in those moments, I see her grace, her joy, her self. And I continue to whisper my biggest wish for her; that she become the best she can be — that she holds on to her belief that she can do anything. Yes, that may mean doing it differently than others, as when she went flying down the hill during her adaptive ski lesson shouting “outta my way Dad, I’m on the move!” But, she can do it.
There will be those in the world who will tell her she can’t do something, simply because it takes her longer. I don’t want her to make their job easier by telling herself she can’t or isn’t enough. She gives it her everything. That is more than enough.